I felt a constant pressure since I was a child to be beautiful, and even more so, sexy. TV spoon-fed me sex icons to model my identity after. More specifically, thin White blondes. Allow me to be clear in stating that I do not feel that this is a universal experience, but it was mine. Nonetheless, I imagine others can relate.
The red clipping in the middle is a photo of me at the ripe age of 16 in my playboy bunny halloween costume. I believe this photo speaks for itself. This is the most festering wound in the bruise that is this work. I idolized nudey-mag stars the same way a catholic covets Mary Magdalene. I remember wanting nothing more than to be on the cover of Playboy for the valor that came with it. To feel the glory of being deemed one of the sexiest women to have ever lived. To have my face on the same cover as my saints, Farrah, Pam, and Marilyn.
I feel that I blurred and defined the line between "Madonna" and "whore" within this piece. Our world often segregates these two ideas, but in the eyes of a child, everything seems to blend together.
This piece was a big step in conquering what I call "art anxiety". Sometimes when developing an idea, I have a very strong and specific concept of what I want the piece to look like. So much so, that I often procrastinate certain aspects or the piece in it's entirety out of fear that I will ruin the idea by not executing it perfectly on the first attempt. I spent months collecting an unorthodox amount of magazines to choose from for this project. Eventually, I pushed myself to begin and I completed it within approximately 5 days.
Mediums: magazine clippings, paper