"Birth of Chairman 2" (2024) - Ignorance, Naivety, and Shame.

 The concept of virginity being something you maintain, lose, treasure, covet, or discard, was one I could never fully grasp. I never understood the looming religious theme or the socio-cultural hype.

I am older now and I understand. My brain and body were elastic and pliable, so I never noticed the damage done. I have outgrown masochism, but I better understand it now.

When you're young, you make sacrifices to appease those you love. When you're young, you are still learning who you are and your sense of self is fluid. You know nothing for sure, other than that you like a boy.

I don't remember who's idea it was. No one told him or I that it was supposed to be gentle or nice.

I still feel the shame and the guilt echo now and again. No one is pointing fingers, but I encourage you to place your negativity on my memory so that you may make space in your head for greater things. Sometimes, I take the blame so I don't have to swallow the more difficult alternative: the possibility that it wasn't my fault. 

Materials: Canvas, acrylic polymer